As you can probably guess from how well spaced out and whiney my posts have been recently, I’ve been feeling a tad rubbish and drained of all needed resources (and shits) to get a whole lot done. Having a crappy body and mind is equal to crappy everything else in life; sadly!
An easier way to explain this to those without a long-standing health condition is the ‘spoon theory‘. Say you’re having a good day and you have (by your standards) plenty of energy you can start with 20 metaphorical spoons of sugar to use up. These spoons symbolise how much energy you have in total.
When you have a long-term condition, illness or mental health issue even doing something as simple as getting out of bed can take up one spoon. Going to the toilet and getting a shower is another three spoons gone. Then getting the kids fed and dressed is another two spoons and that’s IF they are being cooperative. So taking that into account that’s 6 out of 20 spoons used up before you’ve even had your morning coffee. In theory said coffee might perk you up enough to stop moaning and snarling at your partner at kids but on a particularly crappy day it’s no guarantee.
Then you have to hoover, clean the kitchen/bathroom, do the dishes and prepare the food for the day. That’s another 5 or more spoons gone depending on how complicated the meal or how large your home is. That’s at least 11 out of 20 gone and it’s only 12pm. Already you feel drained but life still happens regardless of how rubbish you feel so on you go…
Now you have a choice. Do you use up the remaining 3 or 4 spoons you have doing housework or other chores (taking into account the ones used caring for the children) or do you use them for some kind of leisure activity? If your anything like me you’ll look at the house and figure your hobbies can wait until tomorrow because making sure your little darlings are happy and in a comfortable and clean environment is more important.
Then as this happens; week in and week out and suddenly you realise that you haven’t had any ‘me time’ and this makes you depressed which exhausts you further and knocks off a few more spoons every few weeks or so.
You get invited out but know that if you accept then you will have to reserve some of that fleeting energy which is already ear marked by just living a normal life or be barely able to function the next day. You try to explain and say that you will accept as soon as you feel up to it but then your friends feel snubbed and eventually stop asking you to join them. Cue loneliness, feelings of rejection and more depression and anxiety to add to an already overflowing cup of things to deal with. In the end you just stop trying, safe in the knowledge that you are most likely the main problem in retaining these friendships. Not that thats true but it does at times, feel that way.
The above description is based on a GOOD day. Lately I’ve been having days where having 10 spoons has been a luxury but fingers crossed I can build back up to my normal rate of attempting to exist… Watch this space!
With that in mind I have been using my slow cooker quite a lot to conserve some of that precious energy for other things that might perhaps perk up my mood, such as watching movies and doing crafts.
Here have a bonus recipe, sadly it got eaten too quickly to get a photograph but it was really good. This is easy, tasty and only takes about 5 mins to prepare and that’s if you don’t use pre-chopped veg like I have. Worth noting that it might get slightly too watery but if thats the case just stir in 1tbsp of cornflour mixed into a runny paste with some old water and let it cook for an extra 15 mins.
Ingredients: (to feed 4)
1tbsp Olive oil
4 Good quality beef burgers
2 chopped onions
250ml Ready made beef gravy.
1/2 tsp paprika powder
2 Cloves of garlic
1tbsp Worshire sause.
1/2 chilli diced.
2 carrots chopped
Salt and pepper to taste.
- Fry off the burgers in the olive oil for a few seconds each side until browned and then place in the slow cooker.
- Fry off the onions on a medium heat until soft and add to the slow cooker.
- Add in all of the other ingredients and give it a quick stir, being careful to not break the burgers.
- Cook on low for 8 hours or on high for 4 hours.
- Serve with pasta or mash.
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